When you are on an aircraft, it’s understandable that you would want to sit with your family, partner, and friends (unless you just fought with them), but if the situation doesn’t allow it, what can you do? First, you can ask the flight attendants if there are other available seats. Second, see if other passengers are willing to switch seats with you. If you travel with a child or an elderly that needs to be taken care of, you get off to a good start.

Being a flight attendant, I’ve received uncountable seat-changing requests. If it’s impossible, the rejection may elicit a little bit of disappointment, but most of the passengers would understand and cooperate. It was not until on my recent flight I realized it could be a big issue for some people.

On the first day of Chinese New Year, when we are supposed to have family gatherings that come with delicious turnip cakes and candies, I was assigned to operate an early morning flight to Sydney. The only perk of flying on this important date on the Chinese calendar is receiving red packets from the office management, the captain, and the inflight service manager. In our culture, the seniors in the workplace would give out red packets to the juniors as a way of sharing good luck and blessings during the Chinese New Year. It’s also a custom for people to give red packets to the security guards in their residential building as well as the staff in restaurants. I always wonder why this tradition does not extend to flight attendants, whose jobs are also to provide people with safety and food.

The flight was full and filled with heavy luggage (on paper, each passenger could only bring one 7kg carryon into the cabin, but the reality is that our ground staff don’t care about this policy, leaving us a challenge in arranging the space of overhead compartments in a timely manner). While I was buzzing around, I noticed that a middle-aged couple was standing still in front of the emergency exit row, which was already occupied by a teenage white girl and two Indian young men.

“Is there anything I can help with?” I asked, trying to get everyone to settle down so we could take off as soon as possible.

“We need to sit together! We are a family!” The man with a strong Italian accent showed me their three tickets.

One of the tickets was a window seat of the emergency exit row where their teenage daughter was sitting. The mother got the seat right behind, while the dad’s aisle seat was a few rows ahead. I understand that it’s not the ideal situation, but if you didn’t select your seats online in advance, which could cost extra, it’s no guarantee that your travel companions can be by your side in the air.

“I’m sorry, sir.” I apologized. “It’s a full flight. There is no empty seat. I could help ask if other passengers are willing to switch seats with you, but there’s no guarantee.”

“I can’t sit alone!” The young lady yelled.

It’s actually lucky to be assigned a seat on the emergency exit row with extra legroom, which people would pay an additional cost for. So, I didn’t expect the two Indian guys to give up their comfort in the next eight hours. When they stood up and agreed to switch seats with the couple, I wanted to doff my hat. My colleague also came by to thank the gentlemen for their kindness.

“Vaffanculo,” the girl murmured.

Coincidently, my colleague is half Malaysian, half Italian, and she told me later that “vaffanculo” means “fuck you.”

I thought the situation was over but a few minutes later, something caught my attention again in front of the emergency exit row: a big suitcase on the floor. I asked about it, and it turned out that the Italian couple took it down from its original storage and wanted me to put it in the overhead compartment above them, which was obviously fully occupied.

“All the compartments are full, and they are on a first-come-first-serve basis,” I said. “You would have to put your suitcase back in its original position (the overhead compartment above their assigned seats).”

“It’s your job to find space,” the mum raised her voice. “I saw you helping another passenger with her luggage.”

“We did. As there’s no space in this zone anymore, we put her bag in the front cabin which is much farther away.” I explained, trying my best to keep my composure.

The dad finally got up reluctantly and put the suitcase back in where it was stored minutes ago. I felt sorry for the Indian passengers and I hope that they don’t understand Italian.